We were always told as children ‘treat others as you want to be treated’ and it made sense as it gave us, as children, foundation thst showed us to consider how others might feel. But now we are adults, so can give this simplistic phrase a little more thought.
I believe that we actually shouldn’t treat everyone the same. This includes our children who are at different developmental stages and have different strengths, weakness and personalities. We feel like there should be equity and eveness however this doesn't make sense if our goal is to support them to flourish. If we can acknowledge that each individual has different needs and preferences by treating them the same actually moves is away from our goal. Evenness equals average and average equals satisfactory. We want more than this.
When we can acknowledge that homework is easier for one child than the other, when we can acknowledge that sport is easier for one than the other, when we can acknowledge that going to new places, trying new foods, sitting quietly, making friends, riding a bike, seeking help, talking in front of groups is easier for one child than others - only then can be begin to see them and treat them like they need to be treated.
We aren’t a production line trying to create children who are exactly the same nor should we treat them that way. Herein lies permission to treat each of your children different, not to favour one or the other, but in order to support them to be the individual that they are and let their strengths shine.